


i breakdown, your arms aren't here to hold me

by samwilsons



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, StaticQuake, background mackelena, daisylincoln, elenajoey friendship, fallenagent, joeyelena, mackelena
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:37:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6996079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwilsons/pseuds/samwilsons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>daisy goes through lincoln's backpack, after he dies. she can't stop falling apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i breakdown, your arms aren't here to hold me

when Coulson hands her Lincoln's backpack, she almost breaks down again. But, no, she holds it in. They've seen enough of her pain, she's not going to cause any more collateral damage.

She knows he didn't bring much with him to SHIELD, knows the things in this backpack are all that's left. She holds herself together.

She opens it, and catches sight of a crumpled piece of paper. She picks it up with shaky hands. Smooths it out, reads.

_Daisy. Soft, strong hands. She is ~~beautiful~~ everything. She could move the earth, if she wanted to. She's so. Caring. Selfless. Sweet. E v e r y t h i n g. You know that, right, Dais? Daisy, know that. You are my world._

It stops there. There's a lump in her throat that she can't get past. No one has ever wrote her poetry before. She wonders why he didn't give it to her. Or, maybe, it wasn't for her. Maybe it was for him. She's crying. Sobbing, she can hardly breathe, she gasps and gasps. She cries forever. An hour, maybe. Swipes at her face, deep breaths. Goes through the other things in his backpack. She holds his clothes to her face, they smell like him. For a second, it feels like she's not falling apart. She keeps the clothes. The rest goes to his family, whoever and wherever.

She leaves her room, later. Hands Coulson the bag and the few things she could bare to give away.

"For his family," she says. Her voice breaks, of course it does. All she can do is fall apart.

Coulson nods. She starts to walk away, but his hand on her shoulder stops him. "Someone needs to give Joey a call, let him know what happened."

He hands her a phone. She walks away, breathes, tries to see if she can do it. Can she? Can she say it? It'll make it more real, and she can't get past a few words of anything without breaking. Still, she has to. She starts to dial with shaking fingers.

"Hey, Daisy."

She turns, seeking for the soft voice. Elena is standing in front of her, hands twisting. "Yes?"

"I can call him," Elena says. "If you'd want me to."

Daisy nods, tears threatening to spill again. She hands Elena the phone, grateful for the help. It might not be much, but it feels like the world. "Thank you," she whispers.

Elena gives her a sad smile, and goes to her small room with the phone.

Oh, she hates that Elena will have to break the news, but. But she couldn't. She knows she would've started sobbing. She hopes Elena can do it okay. She hopes Joey is okay.

She sits on the couch, buries herself in blankets. Turns the TV on, does watch. Mack walks over and sits beside her. They don't talk, don't hold each other. They just sit there, together.

Later, Elena emerges from her bunk. She hands the phone to Coulson wordlessly. She wipes a few tears off her cheeks.

Daisy stands up, she has to thank Elena for going through the pain for her. "Thank you," she says. Her voice is strong this time.

Elena nods, her eyes still filled with tears. Suddenly she steps forward and hugs Daisy.

Daisy hugs her back. They don't cry, don't speak. They hold each other for a moment. Together.

After a few moments, Elena lets go. Daisy sits back down. Elena sits on the couch between Daisy and Mack. They're silent for a moment, eyes staring at the TV, and some show no one watches.

Then Mack breaks the silence. "Yoyo, cmere." He pull Elena into his lap, wraps her with his strong arms. Daisy scoots closer, leans her head on Mack's shoulder. It hurts so bad. At least they can hurt together.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by a tweet from pandra: https://twitter.com/pndraa/status/734950195683692544
> 
> this is angsty, bc how i have too many feels about this. 
> 
> not-edited, oops.


End file.
